Personal Boundaries & Gossip
The subject of personal boundaries, responsibility to others and self as well as gossip often comes up as a topic of conversation with my clients and students.The subject of personal boundaries, responsibility to others and self as well as gossip often comes up as we head into the holiday season with all its many seemingly obligations.
What are personal Boundaries?
An individual will define their personal boundaries by a set of guiding principles, rules or limits that are deemed reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around them. These same boundaries will dictate how a person will respond when someone steps outside those set limits. Your boundaries characterize your personality and are a declaration of what you will or won’t do, what you like and don’t like as well as what you will or will not accept as a behavior from another person or circumstance.
One of the things you need to successfully implement personal boundaries is self-awareness. This is an awareness to understand what your body and your intuition
Never feel guilt for saying ‘NO!’ when you truly do not want to get involved or be a part of something that makes you uncomfortable, ill or goes against your gut feeling. I know many people that agree
No one and nothing is worth making yourself sick over! Ever! Simply say ‘NO’ and move on.
Some of the reasons people get involved in things that clearly are beyond healthy personal boundaries are that they do not want to upset a
I can tell you that it is not always an easy task determining what is ours to take on and what isn’t. There is a very fine line between being involved in something, our responsibilities towards others and ourselves to then compare them to the crutch of many involvements, which tend to lean towards gossip! Yes, gossip!
If people refuse to help themselves then so be it; it is not your responsibility to take them and their problems onto your shoulders or back. And please do not fall for the “ Please do this for me?” when it is obvious the person is trying to avoid the karma they are ultimately responsible for creating. Let them clean up their own messes; let them learn their life lesson.
Then there is what we call ‘projection. The “It’s all your fault that this happened to me, that I am like this so YOU must take responsibility for It and make it right!” Many times, people blame you, for their own issues. When this happens, simply throw it back at them. Do not play games or get pulled in. Just ignore it or change the subject. You’re doing them a favor by giving them a chance to learn on their own a valuable life lesson.
Gossip & Rumors ~ What is gossip or rumors and what is not? Anything that hurts
Since when has malicious talk ever been harmless?
The Webster dictionary defines gossip as ‘malicious talk of a sensational and intimate nature.”
This is where the topic gets a bit sticky. Often we think our involvement in certain things is legit. We convince ourselves of this fact by saying we are doing the righteous thing. In all
Avoid Gossip ~ If you are around gossip simply change the subject by using a distraction technique or simply do not say anything; they will quickly see you are not interested in that specific subject. If it persists, simply tell those involved you are not comfortable with that particular subject. The more you practice non-involvement, the easier it gets. Gossiping is a very bad habit and no one comes out a winner.
Do not allow others issues or situations control you, engulf you or your life. YOU WILL LOSE YOURSELF under the clutter of everyone else’s stuff! Evaluate issues; be humane without being a doormat. If you feel
Step back and take
Michèle C. St.Amour©2011