The Awakening: An Alchemical Process Few Truly Know About. It’s Not a Game.

I kept busy for years. Work. Giving. Helping. Moving. Always moving. Because when you stop moving you have to feel what is underneath. And what was underneath was asking me to change everything.

It started quietly. A restlessness. A knowing that certain things were no longer acceptable. That certain people and patterns had to go. That saying yes when I meant no was costing me something I could not afford to keep paying.

It got harder before it got easier. Then one day my nervous system simply let go from the pressure of not saying no. The wall I had been running toward without knowing it, I hit it. And everything stopped. Three years of the most intense psychological and soul shifting I had ever experienced. That was my awakening. And nobody had prepared me for it.

This is what awakening can look like when the process goes unrecognized and unsupported for too long. Depression arriving from nowhere. Anxiety with no name. Fatigue that sleep cannot touch. Relationships falling away. A self you no longer recognize in the mirror. Feeling suddenly raw and open in a way that has no explanation. A heightened sensitivity to people, places and energies that once felt neutral. A sense of not belonging anywhere anymore, not to your old life, not yet to the new one. Feeling everything more deeply than before and not knowing what to do with it. A restlessness that no amount of distraction can quiet. Old wounds surfacing that you thought were long resolved. And an inexplicable longing for something you cannot name.

But here is what I want you to know. This does not have to be your experience.

When the process is recognized early and properly guided it can be quite the opposite. Challenging yes, but not painful. Certainly not suffering. The signs are there if you know what to look for. And that is exactly what proper guidance provides. In a coming article I will speak specifically to those signs, what to watch for, what they mean, and how to tell the difference between a process that is moving well and one that needs support.

Throughout history this process was never left unguided. Every indigenous tradition, every mystery school, every lineage of wisdom keepers understood that what moves in awakening is powerful. Sacred. And without proper grounding, destabilizing. The elders held this knowledge carefully. They trained initiates over years not weekends. They knew that energy rising without a stable foundation does not liberate. It overwhelms. What was meant to free you can fracture you without the right support.

True awakening moves downward contrary to what most believe, before it moves upward. That is the difference between an awakening that transforms you and one that leaves you more lost than before.

After ten years of rebuilding my own foundation and grounding my own awakening I made a decision. This was to be my path. My life has been this work ever since. Walking alongside thousands of people through their own process. Holding the space. Providing the map I never had.

What I have witnessed over and over is people cycling like a bipolar type life. Three steps forward and two steps back. Never quite arriving. Energy high then energy low, feeling empty and not quite suicidal but with mood lows and sometimes deep emotional pain. At times frustrated with the process and other times energetically high like getting a dopamine fix. And people begin to believe that this is normal and the image of awakening but I am here to say it is not. Carrying a romantic idea of what awakening should look like while the reality of it remains misunderstood and mismanaged by the masses is a huge gap in the world’s present challenge. The stumbling makes people weak and vulnerable to outside manipulation as they cycle through highs and energetic lows. Awakening is not a feeling or a philosophy. It is a real, scientific, alchemical process that must be properly supported and that I have come to know few are truly versed in.

It is a lost art. Few carry the real knowledge, the real training, or the real experience of what it takes to properly support the myriad ways awakening can manifest. Each person carries a unique fingerprint. Unless a teacher truly understands the higher alchemical science and more importantly has the lived experience of supporting many through it, the guidance itself can become part of the danger. In any profession it is the elders who carry the depth of knowing that only comes through years of direct experience. And yet our world has set its elders aside. This is no accident. It is part of a broader weakening, a deliberate erosion of the very wisdom lineages that have always kept humanity anchored through times of great change.

I learnt through fifteen years of going through my own awakening and then supporting others for another twenty five years in theirs that many are doing the wrong things at the wrong time without knowing it. I speak not from reading stories or being told. I share and teach from direct experiential knowledge grounded in training within an ancient closed school that has carried the seed teachings for millennia. Yes, millennia. My teaching is founded on witnessing thousands sabotaging their own path not out of weakness but out of lack of proper guidance and knowledge of the energetic mechanics behind what is actually happening.

And here is something few will tell you. You do not need to suffer to awaken. Pain is not a requirement. It is a symptom of a mismanaged process. When awakening is properly supported and the right tools are applied at the right time it can be quite painless. The suffering comes from not knowing what is happening or why.

If any of this speaks to you, if you feel the fire beginning, if you have been cycling in and out never really getting anywhere, if the process feels too slow or you carry a quiet dissatisfaction with where you are, or if you sense that what you are moving through may be more than it appears on the surface, reach out. Professional guidance that carries a deep knowing of this process can make all the difference between a path that transforms and one that simply exhausts.

This is my soul path. What is yours???

Oshtalo!